is it important to get maried????

what so special about marriage?
why people will want to get married?
what make them want to get married?
is it dating means marriage? can dating without marriage?
why am i afraid of marriage when today he mention it?

all these questions appeared in my mind and i had no answer for them. for me, marriage life is not my option but not for him. he want to get married and built his own family. the reason is simple, he want to share everything with the one he love, he want to work hard together, traveling together, every night argue when kids cry and make both of them cant sleep but after few years when think back and laugh together, etc... but for me, marriage is a scary, dark and unsafe. from what i had seen around me, after married, everything tend to start change, they no longer talk about their love, everyday complaining, complain the husband din earn enough money to feed the family, complain kids so naughty, husband complain wife everyday keep yawning, din teach the kids well, din keep the house clean, etc... the worst case is the husband outside got another woman, when get caught, not only the husband and wife suffer, but the innocent kids get involved too. what had left is only tears and pain.

i had no confident to step into marriage life, i scare that will happen on me even though i know he will be a good husband and a good daddy. but future is hard to predict, no one will know he will not become one of them or not, he cant promise and even he promise he also cant guarantee that wont happen.

when he told me that if he propose for few times but still fail he will say sorry to me n find another girl. the reason is he love me but too bad i not love him so he leave me and go away. then he even told me that if after few years i still afraid of marriage he will leave me too. suddenly feel that he so scary, i felt so unsafe, like he anytime will leave me, make me suddenly got a feeling of even i dont want to get married but when he propose, i will just knock my head and agree to marriage with him. once again, i feel our heart become more far than before, cant feel the warm that i used to feel, the safe feeling is gone, now only got a feeling of he is a stranger. who is he? is he still the one i know? now im so afraid to tell him what i think and feel now, scare will say wrong thing then get dump. haha~ im so funny, never thought i will come into this situation.. really funny.. Tigger.. U so FUNNY!!!!!!